


To Rely

by forestsharks



Category: RebelCaptain - Fandom, Rogue One - Fandom, Star Wars
Genre: Angst, Blind!Jyn, Cassian is a Sweetheart, Eventual Smut, F/M, Jyn needs Cassian, Jyn overthinks, Rebel Alliance, Rogue One - Freeform, Star Wars - Freeform, and Cassian needs Jyn, post scarif
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-26
Updated: 2017-04-26
Packaged: 2018-10-24 06:35:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 6,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10736163
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/forestsharks/pseuds/forestsharks
Summary: Jyn stared at the explosion for far too long, expecting her death. When they somehow escaped, Jyn is permanently blinded. The only home she knows through the darkness that has become her life is Cassian.





	1. the beach

**Author's Note:**

> this is pretty crappy lol i had an idea so i went for it :')

the beach

 

They held as tightly as they could. They kneeled - even with the captain's broken leg - they kneeled for more contact, so that all of their fronts were sealed together. 

Jyn's arms were wound tightly around Cassian's sturdy frame. She could feel his calm breath in the crook of her neck. Only Cassian would be so cool and collected on the brink of death.

But they had done it. They had transmitted the plans for the death star - they had transmitted hope - Jyn would be with her father now, and Cassian could cease to exist with the notion that he died for the rebellion. He had completed the most important mission of all his career as a caption for the rebellion. With his shattered knee and many broken ribs, open wounds and bruises, he was ready to leave. He was at peace with the girl who he thought would only bring him trouble, but instead brought him comfort. His arms were locked around Jyn's frame, his eyes closed, ready to be taken. 

Jyn was also at peace. She felt like she had so much to say to Cassian. He was the only person she could ever relate to - the only one she could ever see herself being this close to, the only person she had ever exposed emotions to. As Jyn grew older, forming friendships or even relationships was out of the book. She was simply emotionally unavailable. She witnessed her mother die at the hands of Krennic as a child, and she watched her father pass not long ago, and she avenged his death. Cassian had lost people too, and when Jyn had nowhere else to go - Cassian was there.

Holding him tight, she was smiling at the brightening horizon - so peaceful and calm in Cassian's arms. She felt a tear stream down her cheek, and another, and she began to shake as the heat became almost unbearable.

Cassian began to cry, as well, something he never did, soothing his calloused hands down Jyn's clothed back. "Don't be afraid," he soothed in a breaking voice, "I'm here." 

Jyn stifled a sob, her eyes fixated on the building light, but she was still smiling. The two were a mess of raw emotion. Jyn watched the blast grow closer and closer until her eyes stung unbearably, and when she tried to blink, everything turned black. And it stung like a thousand knives twisting into her pupils.

Cassian felt her tense. She did not cry out. Soon she would be met with a sweet release.

It was then, before they could possibly react, they were yanked onto a metal floor, the familiar whirring of a ship's engine enclosed around them, and they were hurled into hyperdrive, the distant sounds of a planet dying behind them. 

Jyn was clasped around Cassian, her face buried in his shirt, both of them collapsed on the ground. It was then, Jyn realized what was going on, and she couldn't help but scream into Cassian's chest, the pain in her eyes unbearable, and the realization that they were still alive overwhelming.


	2. the ship

the ship

 

Cassian clutched to Jyn as she screamed in pure agony, his eyes darting for the pilot.

"What's wrong with her?" A familiar voice yelled back.

Bodhi.

A breath of release escaped Cassian's lungs. His attention quickly turned to Jyn, who was writhing in pain. 

"Jyn? Jyn, look at me! Look at me!" Cassian said worriedly, cupping the side of her tear-stained face and turning it to face his. 

Her pupils were tiny, the black dots almost lost in her irises. Her eyes were distant, not particularly fixated on anything. She stopped screaming, but only to bite her lip hard, enough to draw blood, to distract her even a little from the searing in her eyes. She knew her eyelids were open. But she could not see at all.

"Can't see," she choked out, dry heaving with shock.

Cassian looked at her in horror. She clutched to him, fearing that if she let go, she would fall through the blackness that was now the world around her. 

"Bodhi!" Cassian yelled, "Get us back to base camp as quick as possible. Jyn's been blinded and she's in a lot of pain." 

Bodhi nodded in response, his hands gripped around the ship's control system with a newfound fervor. 

Cassian's mind swirled with thousands of questions. How did Bodhi find them just in time? Why were they the only ones left? All the rest of their friends - K2, Baze, Chirrut - were left to die. Why did the universe choose them? Would Jyn make it to Yavin 4? Would she ever see again? Would she even want to be in contact with him after all that or would it bring her too much pain? 

Cassian's stomach lurched. Utterly overwhelmed, he grabbed for a random container astray to the left of them and vomited whatever was left in his stomach - the reality of the situation hitting him all at once.

•

After blacking out after vomiting, Cassian woke to Jyn sleeping on his stomach. It didn't look peaceful. She looked as if she had passed out from exhaustion as well. Her forehead was slick with sweat, stray dark strands of hair caught there. He could not help but brush the hair out of her face, his other hand soothing her back slowly.

With all his might, and careful not to wake her, Cassian lifted himself off the ground, carrying Jyn. He put all of his weight on his good leg, and limped around the back of the ship until he found a stray medical cot. He carefully laid Jyn down on it, and turned the corner back towards the cockpit. 

He cleaned up his mess and made his way to Bodhi. 

"Do you want me to pilot?" He asked, Bodhi jumping at his voice, unaware that Cassian was awake. Bodhi carefully scanned Cassian's exhausted, hunched-over frame and shook his head. 

"No. Go rest. You are in much worse shape than me."

"That doesn't mean I can't pilot."

"Cassian, you barely look awake now. You are injured. At least rest before we get home."

Home. 

Cassian said nothing, simply turning and limping back around the corner where Jyn laid motionless on the cot. 

Refusing to leave her side for long, he laid himself down on the cold metal floor beside the cot. He watched Jyn sleep for a little before lowering his head to the floor to make sure she was alive, and when he watched the slow rise and fall of her chest, another wave of relief crashed over him.

"Stay alive," he whispered, "I'm here."

With that, Cassian laid all the way down, his eyelids shutting like heavy garage doors, and drifted back into sleep.


	3. awake

awake

 

Jyn woke up to soft pads pressed over her eyes. She reached her hand up to examine them, finding that bandages also wrapped their way around her head, keeping the pads in place. 

"Cassian?" His name escaped her throat instinctively, her voice raspy and tired. No answer. Just the repetitive beep of a machine close to her. Must be a heart monitor.

She began to panic again - she couldn't be alone - she couldn't be without Cassian. 

It wasn't that it was because she was blind and needed him because she trusted him most  - although that was true - his presence was the thing that was closest to home for her. And without sight, she needed him most. 

Where was she? Was she back at the rebel base? She heard Cassian mention Bodhi's name before she passed out, but she couldn't be sure. Where was Cassian? Was he okay? 

"Cassian!" She called out again, stronger this time, sitting up in the medical bed, feeling sheets tumble down her frame. 

She heard footsteps approaching her room. Anxiety sat on Jyn's chest like a weight, unsure of who was going to come through the door, or if she'd have to fight, which would probably be difficult given she had no sight. 

The footsteps entered.

"Jyn Erso?" It was a friendly voice; a female voice. She was still hesitant. "Don't worry. I'm your nurse. You're back at Yavin 4, at the rebel base."

Jyn sighed in relief, her shoulders dropping. She felt the cot dip as the nurse sat on the edge of her bed. 

"You've been in a coma like state for a while now. Probably from shock, exhaustion, heat stroke, and the amount of anesthesia the medical bay had to put you on in order to examine the damage done to your eyes. You were in a lot of pain, it made it almost impossible to do anything with your heart rate so high."

Jyn said nothing, overwhelmed by all this new information. After pausing, she asked, "How long have I been in a coma?"

"Well, long enough to blow up the Death Star."

Jyn couldn't help but let a smile crawl to her face. Her friend's deaths would not be in vain. 

"Where's Cassian? Is he okay? And Bodhi?"

"Captain Andor has already been sent back to his quarters with a healing fractured patella and a few broken ribs - but he's been recovering very well. Bodhi wasn't hurt very badly, so he has been doing well also. You have been healing remarkably good, as well, your ribs have healed completely, along with the rest of your wounds. Well, except one."

Jyn reached up to touch the wrapping around her eyes. She felt the nurse place a hand on her knee in an attempt to comfort her for the news to come. Jyn's first reaction was to pull away, but she remained.

"The intensity of the blast permanently blinded you. You must have been looking at it dead-on with the notion that you were going to be killed. Your eyes themselves have healed, so they won't hurt anymore. I'm so sorry."

Jyn couldn't help but begin to tear up. Never again would she see the many skies of distant planets, or the shimmer of far away stars, or the victorious faces of the rebellion after seeing her emerge somewhat healthy from the medical bay, or Cassian's dark, firm, welcoming eyes.

"You can take the bandages off your eyes. We kept them there to catch any bleeding - doctor's orders - but they didn't bleed."

Jyn tore the bandages from her face, feeling her eyes open. Open to blackness. She blinked a few times, stray tears escaping. She hurriedly wiped them away and swung her legs off the side of the bed so she sat on the edge.

"Am I cleared to leave?" She asked.

"Yes, but -"

"But what?" Jyn snapped. She felt a twinge of guilt for being so snappy at the kind nurse, but she was far too emotional to be accompanied by anybody right now. She needed her own quarters.

"But won't you need assistance? To your quarters?"

Jyn huffed, hating the fact that she was now going to need help with whatever she did. She didn't hate it. She despised it. Her face scrunched up in disgust. 

"I can do it myself," she growled, standing up off the bed and taking a step in some direction. Her foot quickly hit the edge of a table and she nearly fell. The nurse's hands were on her arm, stabilizing her. Tears sprung from Jyn's eyes. Angry tears. 

"It's okay, Miss Erso. I'm here to help."

Jyn was thankful for the nurse putting up with her temper. She quietly nodded, wiping her tears again, and let the nurse carefully guide her to her room.


	4. lost&found

lost&found 

 

Cassian walked into the medical bay slowly, not trying to strain his still healing legs. The familiar smell of bacta filled his lungs, taking the halls he knew to visit Jyn again.

It was killing him. Ever since he was released, he continuously visited Jyn every day. He couldn't stand that he was constantly in the unknown. Every day he would sit in there until he was kicked out, just watching the rise and fall of her steady breathing. He liked to know she was alive. It brought him comfort since Scarif. Well, some comfort. 

He would usually talk to her. He knew that sometimes people could hear while in comas. Not that if she ever woke up, she would remember it. 

Cassian took part in the great mission to blow up the death star. He piloted alongside many great rebel pilots and blew the thing to dust. He raced back to Yavin 4 shortly after, sprinting to the medical bay, still in his pilot suit and helmet tucked under his arm, and raced to Jyn's side. He took her cold hand in his warm, alive one.

"The death star is no more," he had said, rubbing a circle into Jyn's limp hand, "We did it, Jyn. You should have seen it. You would have smiled and laughed like the rest of us," his voice broke, blinking away forming tears, "I know your father is proud. So are K2, and Chirrut, and Baze."

And Cassian had stayed there, holding her frail hand, until Jyn's nurse had kicked him out again.

He was on his way for his daily visit with her, and upon walking through the door, he froze. 

The medical bed was made neatly, the room anew and ready for its next patient. 

Was he in the right room? He shot a look at the room number, confirming that yes, this was Jyn's room. He frantically looked left and right down the halls, searching for Jyn's nurse, immediately jumping to the horrific conclusion that she had died. His breathing became hoarse. He didn't get to say goodbye. No. He needed her. How could he be so close to anybody else? Jyn saw that pain from his past and accepted him for it, as he did with her. There was nobody else Cassian cared for more. Nobody he wanted to get remotely close to. He was on the verge of a breakdown before he turned a corner and bumped into somebody.

Before he had the time to snap and break at whoever it was, he heard a familiar voice.

"Captain Andor?"

Jyn's nurse.

"Where's Jyn?" He shot, stepping closer to her, analyzing her face to see if she was a bearer of bad news.

The nurse understood Cassian's obvious concern, and placed a hand on his arm. Cassian began to panic, worrying she was trying to comfort him, his eyes sharp and blazing.

"Captain Andor, she's alive. I just came back from helping her to her quarters."

Cassian's heart starting to pump out of his chest, and immediately took off in a sprint down the halls to the housing part of the base, despite the nurse's cries to "Wait!" behind him.

•

Jyn was sitting on her bed, criss-crossed. She felt so defeated. She was still crying weakly. It wasn't like she could do much. She knew the general idea of her small issued room. Her bed, the bedside table, and the dresser on the opposite wall. There wasn't much to know. Still. She felt like she needed help doing anything. It was demeaning - especially for somebody like Jyn.

She heard rushed footsteps coming down her hall. She sniffled and wiped her tears, wondering if it was somebody coming to see her. The nurse had left her door open with a call button to the med bay in case she needed help with anything. The person stopped at her door. They breathed heavily, like they were worried, and then their breath caught in their throat.

"Jyn?"

She recognized the voice immediately.

Jyn turned her head more towards the sound of his voice to hear him better. "Cassian," she cooed, his name rolling off her tongue like a prayer. She stood up off her bed, trying to turn her body towards him. Cassian wasted no time rushing to her and wrapping his arms around her. Just like the beach at Scarif.

Jyn melted into him, feeling like she could finally see, in a way, wrapping her arms around his back and nuzzling into the crook of his neck. "Cassian," she cooed again, crying once again.

"I thought you were dead," He rasped, tears stinging his eyes, "I thought you were gone."

Jyn shook her head. "I couldn't leave you."


	5. fight

fight

 

"So you won't be able to see? For the rest of your life?"

"No," Jyn exhaled. The two sat comfortably on Jyn's small bed, their backs against the wall. Jyn's face scrunched up in frustration again. "It's my fault. I thought we were going to die there on Scarif. I could have completely avoided it. Now I need help doing whatever I do. It's awful."

Cassian carefully watched her expressions, reading her clearly. "You couldn't have known we'd still be alive."

"Maybe it'd be easier if I had died there," Jyn confessed.

Cassian's eyebrows furrowed. "If you died there and I didn't, I couldn't live with myself."

"Are you telling me you can sit here and live fine knowing that nothing will ever be the same for me?" Her voice broke, "Cassian, it doesn't feel like living."

Cassian could see the pain in her face. His heart shattered. It was silent between the two for a while.

Cassian broke the silence. "I came to see you every day," he admitted, "I would sit there and talk to you. I came right to you after we blew the death star. I could not go on without you. Not after Scarif."

Cassian's heart was racing, not used to being so up front about his emotions with people. Jyn's face softened.

"I just don't know what to do," Jyn admitted, defeated.

Silence came from Cassian again as he thought. Then, he spoke.

"You fight."

"What?"

"That's all we can do. We fight. Like we fought for the plans. Like we fought for the rebellion. We haven't lost if we're still fighting."

Jyn was quiet.

"You're strong, Jyn. You can't give up now. Find a way around it and fight. I will be with you every step of the way. Me and the rest of the Rebellion. _We_ can't give up now."

Jyn was still silent, but she quietly moved her hand to find his forearm, then moved it down to grasp his hand, like she did on Scarif.

"Okay," she said with a new hope.

•

For the next few weeks, Jyn regularly met with her nurse, who of which she finally learned the name of; Amir. Together they did something similar to physical therapy. For example, if Jyn had badly injured her leg, Amir would help Jyn learn to walk on it. But instead, Amir helps Jyn get around easier with being blinded.

Together they discovered that Jyn feels more comfortable with a weapon-like staff about her at all times than a walking stick. She says it's more "equipped" to her personality, yet everybody knows she just likes the staff better because she could use it like a weapon.

She finds herself thinking about Chirrut often. She's inspired by him - his faith in himself and the force. How much he accomplished and how strong he was despite his handicap. But Chirrut had Baze as a right hand man. Jyn knew she could get stronger, but she needed somebody at her side, somebody she could rely on 100%, somebody she was willing to make a part of her.

The answer was quite obvious. It was obvious before they landed on Scarif.

Amir was great. Kind, compassionate and endearing, she eased Jyn along, easily approaching her temper and frustration. Amir had been at Jyn's side for a while now, helping her get changed, helping her bathe, go to the cafeteria, move about the base. Amir would spend countless hours with Jyn helping her now recognize the world relying on touch and hearing because it was her job. And Jyn didn't like that.

Amir didn't _know_ Jyn. That's what bothered her most. Amir did what she did because she had to. Amir didn't know what Jyn saw that day. Amir didn't peel her from her father's dead corpse. Amir didn't lead a scrappy troop of rebels into imperial territory to avenge her father's death with her.

Jyn appreciated Amir. But she could not see Amir.

Well, there was only one person Jyn could "see".

And that was Cassian.

•

Jyn hadn't really seen Cassian much since they day she was discharged from the med bay. He was busy as a captain, doing small missions here and there, while Jyn stayed at the base and worked hard every day to get her bearings.

She had been restless the many nights after realizing how desperately she needed Cassian; lying awake in hopes that maybe one day he would be there lying there with her, and maybe, it would be much easier to fall asleep.

Then again, maybe Cassian was not interested in being Jyn's person at all. And that was what kept her up. Cassian's job was to do what he was told as a pilot, not as a nurse. Though, after so much "therapy", Jyn was confident enough in her way around the base that she knew she could be safe. She felt like she could be helpful again. She wanted to start training again. She could get around very well. She wanted to become like Chirrut.

Though her trust in the force was not that strong, and she felt like it never would be, she knew she could always become stronger. She wanted to fight again. She had fought for herself, and she was ready to fight for the rebellion with Cassian.

What she felt for Cassian was not some childish infatuation. She was even afraid to call it "love", though she knew it was probably closest to what she felt. Cassian was much more than a lover in her mind. He was home.

She hoped that her feelings were not one sided.


	6. balcony

balcony

 

Cassian was having trouble keeping Jyn off his mind. The kind of trouble that keeps you up at night, or distracts you during missions. He knew they both were busy doing their own things, but Cassian couldn't help but wonder: was Jyn getting better? Would she be able to go on missions again? Was she interested in him at all?

The way she held his hand that one day, she was sure she wanted to be around him often. But his insecurities told him otherwise. How could Jyn possibly have any interest in somebody she couldn't see?

It troubled him non-stop. He would see her now and then, walking with her nurse with a staff similar to Chirrut's. Of course she would use a staff. Jyn would pick a weapon over a walking stick any day.

Although he didn't see her often, he knew she was getting better at getting around. She walked more confidently, using all the senses she could to strengthen herself. He was glad about it.

Coming back from the showers one night, Cassian had a light t-shirt on and comfortable pants. He decided against heading right to bed, and decided to go to a balcony jutting out from the side of the temple for fresh air and a look at the sky. And to hopefully clear his cluttered mind.

Stepping out onto the cool stone, he rested his elbows on the edge of the stone fence between him and the sky. Breathing in slowly, Cassian filled his lungs with the crisp night air, and breathed out slowly.

The breeze ran cold against his still-damp skin. He ran a hand through his wet hair, looking up at the sky.

He barely noticed the figure approach next to him.

He turned his head to the noise of footsteps. A figure wearing light clothes and a large scarf thrown around their neck approached the opposite side of the balcony - holding a staff.

Jyn stepped into the moonlight and took a deep breath.

Cassian watched silently, not wanting to disturb her. Her hair was down, splaying over the grayish scarf that looped around her neck lightly. Her eyes looked in any direction, and when he could see them well, he was still met with a brilliant green. Her hand was firm around her metal staff, but still fragile and fair. Her lips were rosy-pink, as was the tint to her cheeks.

Cassian couldn't help but stare.

He finally gathered the courage to approach her. He let his slow footsteps toward her be heard so she knew somebody was coming. She turned her head in the direction of his footsteps, a curious yet calm look on her features.

"It's me," He said, reaching her side, "Cassian."

"Oh," she responded, tugging on her scarf sheepishly, "Thought you were Amir coming to chide me for not being in bed."

He chuckled. "No. I'm just not tired." He swore she moved closer to him.

"Yeah, me neither." She took another deep breath. "You smell good, did you shower?"

Cassian smiled at her. "Indeed I did, thank you for noticing." She giggled.

It was quiet for a bit. Strangely, it wasn't uncomfortable.

"How's the sky tonight?" Jyn asked him.

"It's fantastic," Cassian chimed, "Not cloudy at all. The stars are very bright." He looked down at her.

She was looking towards the sky, trying to imagine what he described. His heart jumped into his throat.

"There are a couple cargo ships going by, and you can see some moons in the distance."

Jyn's hand brushed lightly against his. He swallowed hard. He felt kind of stupid - a spy for the rebellion getting so frazzled over something like this. But, then again, he was alone, on a balcony on a clear night, with Jyn Erso.

"Can I tell you something?" Jyn asked.

"Of course."

"Tomorrow I'm going to talk to Mon Mothma about two things. I'm going to ask her if I could begin fighting lessons privately with some other rebels. I want to start doing missions again."

"Jyn, that's great!" Cassian chirped, "I'm so glad to see you've come this far."

Jyn felt the slight, reassuring pat of his hand on her shoulder, an electric current running through her at his touch. It was like she could see him - his after shower hair, soft shirt, warm smile. Her breath shuddered.

"It's going to be tough, but I've come this far, right? There's always room to fight," she said, taking words from Cassian. She knew he was smiling down at her. The bubbling she felt in her stomach was a dead giveaway.

"That's right." Cassian was scanning the features of her face in the moonlight over and over. Could she tell that he was? He didn't care at this point. He couldn't wait to take on missions with her and fight by her side again. He would do everything to ensure their safety and to complete the mission effectively. He knew that she wouldn't bring them down. Jyn would get the hang of it - especially with him by her side. Or was that not what she wanted? Cassian was still in the unknown about whether she wanted him with her or to work independently - or with Amir.

"There's one more thing," she said, fiddling with her scarf nervously. She could feel Cassian's warm, questioning gaze upon her. "You know how I've been around Amir so much?"

"Of course," Cassian replied softly.

"Well, to make a long story short, I don't like the fact that Amir sticks around because she has to. Because it's her job. I think about Chirrut and Baze a lot, Cassian. They were inseparable; one drove the other and they could rely on each other equally. I'm know I can get stronger, but I can't do things alone. I want somebody who knows me and sticks around because they want to," the words flowed through her mouth like a river, and she was so nervous asking a captian this, "Amir doesn't know me. You know me."

She could tell Cassian was close to her. She could feel his warm breath hitting her face calmy.

When Cassian was silent, Jyn began to panic, and rambled; "Well, I mean you don't have to if you're too busy and you might be uncomfortable with stuff because you'll basically have to live with me but _honestly_ I'd be fine with living with you because I'm so comfortable around you it's _insane_ ," she cut herself off, feeling her face heat up. She felt childish.

Cassian, being the fool he was, was silent simply because he was taking in the sight of a rosy pink blush dawning upon Jyn's fair cheeks. He couldn't help but smile. He really hoped Jyn couldn't tell he was smiling like an idiot.

"Jyn, I'd be more than happy to do that. Since Scarif, it's not exactly easy being apart from you anyways," he scratched the back of his neck, "We make a good team. I'd hate to see that die." He hoped he didn't sound too formal.

A smile crept onto Jyn's features. Pure excitement coursed through her body. "I'll talk to Mon Mothma tomorrow, then." Their hands brushed again. Cassian made the courageous decision to find her fingers, intertwining them with his own. Jyn felt more electricity.

"I'm always going to be here," Cassian said, squeezing her hand. Jyn's heart thumped in her chest, his words speaking levels.

She brushed her thumb lightly over his knuckles. "Same goes for me, Captain."

With that, Jyn dropped his hand and coordinated her way back in the direction of her quarters, the sound of her feet and her staff hitting the floor quietly.

He watched her walk with confidence and grace, something she was fearful of never achieving after losing her sight. He swallowed again. Cassian Andor was left with a fluttering in his stomach.


	7. together

together

 

"I want to become useful again. I can't just sit around the base while everybody else is out there fighting." Jyn sat across a large circular table from one of the most influential women in the Rebellion.

Mon Mothma looked away in thought, sighing. "Jyn, I can't throw you into missions blindly. Literally."

"I can navigate fine," she argued.

"Around the base, yes, but not in an imperial warzone."

"That's why I'm going to train harder. And, I'll have a team with me."

"If it kills you, the daughter of Galen Erso's blood is on my hands."

"Give me a chance," Jyn huffed, gripping her staff. The teal lights of rebel technology cascaded against her skin in the dim light of one of the coordination rooms. "Let me train with some trainees. When I've got my bearings, I can go back on missions."

"With what squad? Who are you going to trust enough if something goes wrong? Or if you're separated? Jyn Erso, who are you willing being that close to? Enough to not drag the mission down?"

"Cassian," Jyn said without hesitation.

"Excuse me?" Mon Mothma was taken aback.

"Captain Andor. Replace my nurse with somebody I actually trust. Let us share my dorm - he can have Amir's bed. I trust him." She shifted nervously, unable to tell Mon Mothma's reaction.

"Miss Erso, I can't distract Captain Andor from his missions."

"His missions only last maybe weeks at a time. I can hold my own while he's away and work with him when he's back. And he's not away now. Everything we do is only in benefit of the Rebellion."  
Jyn's voice was steady and strong.

Mon Mothma was quiet, rolling the idea around in her mind.

"If one thing backfires, Erso, I'm pulling the plug," she paused, "Next training session is tomorrow morning. I'll see Amir's things moved out of your room and back to the medical bay, and the Captain will be instructed to house with you. Is that clear?"

Jyn stood up in her chair, probably too quickly, her excitement showing, her staff hitting the edge of the table. "Crystal. Thank you, ma'am. We won't let you down."

Mon Mothma saw her off, and Jyn bumped into way too many chairs before actually leaving the room and making her way to find Cassian as quickly as she could. She was far too giddy, feeling childish - except this time, she was excited about it.

•

Jyn hurriedly found her way back to her room, hoping Cassian would already be there. She entered to hearing shuffling in the opposite side of the room.

"Cassian?" She asked perkily.

"No," a familiar voice returned, "It's Amir."

"Ah, Amir, I see you've already received the new housing arrangements." Jyn couldn't help but feel bad. She felt like she was taking her job away from her. "I'm sorry it's so sudden. I'm just really excited to get back with my team."

"Don't worry about it, Jyn. I knew this was coming, and there are plenty more patients who need my help. I'm just glad to see you've come so far."

Jyn couldn't help but smile. She walked over to where Amir's voice was located, leaned her staff against a wall and tried her best to hug her. She was hugging her from the side, but a hug's a hug. Amir smiled and patted Jyn's back. "Thank you, Amir. I couldn't have done it without you."

The two separated, and as Amir gathered the last of her things, Jyn asked if she needed any help carrying anything, which Amir responded that she was fine. They said their goodbyes and Amir walked out and back towards her original quarters in the med bay.

Jyn retrieved her staff and moved to her bed, leaning the staff against the side. She sat criss - crossed, awaiting Cassian's arrival.

She grew increasingly nervous, hoping Cassian truly meant it when he said he'd love to live with her or was just saying that because she was blind. Her mind soon became overwhelmed with doubts. Did Cassian want the same from her as she wanted from him?

No wonder Jyn never got attached to anybody. This was so troubling. 

Before Jyn could react to his footsteps, Cassian typed in the key code to the sliding door and walked in (also a little excited to be sharing a room with Jyn Erso, to say the least), interrupting her negative slew of thoughts. 

"Cassian," she chirped, "You heard about the arrangements already?"

Cassian walked over and dumped his belongings on his bed, sighing in relief of having to carry that much such a long way. "Of course I did," he said, smiling at the faint blush creeping up on Jyn's cheeks, "I'm excited, Jyn. I can't wait to be a team again."

Jyn smiled widely, feeling so complete and happy knowing that Cassian and she would be closer than ever.

It was creeping up her throat. She had to get it out. 

"I-" both of them said it at the same time, and both chuckled. "You first," Cassian said.

"I have to tell you something," Jyn confessed, playing with the folds in her sheets. She was genuinely anxious to tell him this, her heart in her throat. 

"Okay," Cassian said softly, coming over to sit with her on her bed. 

She took a deep breath. "Since Scarif, or even a bit before that, I began to not be able to stand the thought of being without you. I feel awful for scaring you like that while I was comatose, because I know if that was you, I would never leave your side in the med bay. I've never really felt like this before, and I'm not one to get attached to people, but when you're with me, I feel like I'm home. It's easier for me to feel the world around me because you make everything so much clearer. I don't know if this is making sense," she looked down, avoiding Cassian's presence. 

"It is." Cassian's voice was soft in her ear. He was so close to her. "I feel that way too. The rebellion is not home without you." Jyn turned her face so their breaths mingled together, their noses almost touching. 

"I don't ever want to be without you." His voice was so alluring. 

Jyn's hand traveled up to cup the side of his face, letting her thumb slip over his bottom lip. Cassian put his hand over hers, keeping it there. She leaned in, thankful her placement was right as their noses slid past one another's, and Jyn was kissing Cassian.


End file.
